My mother in law told me that if I didn’t want to go back to work that I should have married a Doctor. She was joking (I think?) but it was a strong message nonetheless. I decided not to go back to work after maternity leave anyway 🙂 The decision to become a stay-at-home Mom was not based on finances. Rather, it was based on the lifestyle my husband and I want to create for our family.

Because of my personality, there really isn’t anything else I’d rather do. Being a Mom is my JAM. When we first decided that I would stay home, I though “what a luxury!” But now I’m wondering if it’s really a necessity?

The Dynamic

My husband, Mark, is a photographer who has the luxury of setting his own schedule. When he’s not shooting on location, he’s at home either working or with Henry and I. I bet if he were working a 9-5 office job though, I’d likely get frustrated with not having an adult to talk to, adventures to go on, or trade off with when I need a shower. I’d probably feel a stronger urge to go back to work.

The career I left

I realized early on with my previous employer that I couldn’t have both a family and a career. Scratch that… I couldn’t have the family I wanted and a fulfilling career at the same time. The direction I was going was leading me down a path of long hours away from home and work that didn’t really excite me. My biggest worry in going back was that I would get sucked right back into work, which is surprisingly easy if you’re a competitive person like myself. I’d find myself chasing someone else’s dream while, at my core, just wanting to be at home with Henry.

Most of my Mommy friends are heading back to jobs they really enjoy and are excited for this new chapter in their lives. Many of them are finally starting to feel like themselves again and are better Moms for it. I can 100% appreciate that – it’s just not for me.

Work-Life “Balance”

I’ll never be one of those people who can leave work at work and home at home and think that the concept of work-life balance is a crock of sh*t. Work IS a part of life and the fact that we try to separate and ‘balance’ them is like fighting a losing battle. With constant connectivity and blurred boundaries, I don’t think anybody can truly separate these two worlds. So if work and life are bound to integrate, why not make these two worlds a happy place to live?

The Big Decision

My decision to quit my job and stay at home with Henry has been called noble by some and stupid by others.

Prior to handing in my resignation, I made a list of Pros and Cons (yep – I’m one of those people). The logical side of my brain was scribbling down things like “loss of benefits”, “stability”, and the obvious one… “no salary”. I left a comfortable job with benefits and some pretty awesome people behind. But really, it came down to one essential thing – spending time with my son and my Husband without distractions.

A Luxurious Necessity

For the sake of my mental health, following our family dreams, and taking an active role in Henry’s growth and development, I do consider staying at home a necessity. Of course, he’d grow and develop regardless of my being around, but given the option, I’d like to be the one guiding him along the way. Mark and I have a crystal clear vision of what we want our lifestyle to be and this is one of the first steps towards making it happen.

As much of a necessity it is, it’s also a complete luxury for me to be a stay-at-home Mom. Relaxed mornings, traveling adventures, and baby music classes (actually my favourite thing ever)… I’m living the richest and most fulfilling life right now and I really wouldn’t trade it for anything. I don’t know if this can remain our reality forever, but I sure as hell am going to try.

There’s no right or wrong way of doing it – it’s what feels best for you. I’ve never felt so assured that this is what I was meant to do

Are you a stay-at-home parent? I’d love to hear about your experience!